


In a World Full of Hate Be a Light

by armadillosunset



Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Normal Life, Bartender Niall Horan, Captain Niall Horan, Domestic Fluff, Everyone is of age, Fluff, I think?, Implied Smut, Kid Fic, Lawyer Zayn, M/M, Zayn Malik & Louis Tomlinson Friendship, background ziam - Freeform, cause I enjoy reading it but can’t write it, except Louis’ kid, who’s a kid
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-05-16
Updated: 2020-05-16
Packaged: 2021-03-02 16:54:31
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 13,712
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/24210169
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/armadillosunset/pseuds/armadillosunset
Summary: “If I may ask,” Louis directed his question downward, to the small boy with his face and hands plastered to the glass, leaving smudges at child-height, “what exactly are you doing?”The boy quickly looked up before he returned his attention back outside. “Looking.”“I can see that.” Louis rested his chin on his crossed arms. “Whatcha lookin at?”“Looking for Harry.”—After Louis is left to take care of his three year old son, he’s determined to find they boy’s friend — Harry — if only to give the poor boy some sense of normalcy after everything’s been turned upside down. That small task proves to be harder than Louis imagined.Featuring Captain bartender Niall, Lawyer Zayn, a charismatic plush frog, and way too many chicken nuggets.
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson, Louis Tomlinson/Original Female Character(s)
Comments: 6
Kudos: 166





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> 1\. I apologize for the majority of the names all rhyming. I didn’t realize until I was too far in to change it.
> 
> 2\. The full story is this chapter (Chapter 1). Chapter 2 is just a little stand alone bonus reading material because there was no good way to include it without spoiling things and it was the first thing I came up with when I got the idea for this fic.
> 
> 3\. I suck at titling my work so I’ve taken to just hitting shuffle on one of my playlists and snagging a line out of the first song that comes up. This title is brought to you by the song Be A Light by Thomas Rhett.
> 
> Hope you enjoy <3

“Is this even legal? Are we allowed to just... do this?” Louis glared at his ex-girlfriend as she unloaded the last of the bags from the back of the giant suburban, tossing them onto the grass next to the driveway in a heap with the others. “I mean, I’m not about to have you screw me over. Again.”

The tall, thin brunette huffed as she slammed the back door of the vehicle. Her eyes were hidden by an excessively large pair of sunglasses, but Louis was beyond sure that she had just rolled her eyes at him — he knew this woman like the back of his hand, and Julie rolled her eyes about every five seconds; or after every sentence Louis spoke as of late. 

“If you’d check your email every once in awhile, Lewis, you’d see that I CC’d you on an email to my lawyer about the new arrangement.” 

Louis pulled out his phone and with a few taps, yep, there was the email, sent last night. With a nod of his head he pocketed the device, rather surprised that his ex was actually on top of these things for once. He had always been the one stuck playing email tag with their respective lawyers while she whined about nothing getting done.

“I mean, he hasn’t gotten back to me yet, but I don’t have the time to be sitting around and waiting. I have to be in LA by tomorrow afternoon.”

It was Louis’ turn to roll his eyes now as he slid a hand down his face. “What am I supposed to tell Alex?” He called out as the woman walked away, around to the driver’s side. “He’s expecting you to pick him up after dinner, like usual.”

Louis dared a quick glance back at the front door of the house, still slightly ajar the way he left it. He had left the small boy on the couch, asleep for his afternoon nap with the sounds of Sesame Street playing softly on the telly to run outside after a sudden and confusing phone call from his ex. When he stepped out of the house he found her already parked in the driveway, tossing bags out onto the lawn.

“I don’t know. You’ll figure something out, you’re good with little kids.” Julie waved as she turned the key in the ignition and music suddenly blared through the speakers. She shouted out the window to Louis over the thumping bass. “Tell him Mommy’s career is finally taking off!”

With that, she hit the gas and the suburban backed the short distance down Louis’ drive and, after a quick shift of the gears, the car was down the street and out of sight.

After he watched the speck of a moving vehicle turn the corner at the end of the street and finally disappear from view, Louis gave a sigh and faced the eyesore that was now his front lawn. Clothes, toys, diapers, pieces of his child’s artwork, all thoughtlessly thrown together and unceremoniously tossed onto the grass — the entire life of a three year old (sorry, three and a half year old, how could Louis forget) stuffed into bags and thrown to the side without a second thought.

And by his own mother, no less.

Louis never really cared how Julie treated him. That woman had sent him through a wringer on more than one occasion since the one-sided custody battle began. He was an adult, he could handle what life (or a petty ex-girlfriend) threw at him. Especially when it was a curveball of having his son’s full custody thrown at him — the same child who, until now, Louis only saw every other weekend.

What broke Louis’ heart was the sad little boy he would have on his hands later. The boy who was expecting his mother to come pick him up in a few hours after a weekend with Daddy. Louis was left to explain to his son how his mother had gone halfway across the world without even saying goodbye.

With a swift kick, Louis released a bit of anger and a stuffed toy frog sailed across the yard, landing among the row of hydrangeas in front of the house.

She didn’t even say goodbye to Alex; that was what bothered Louis the most. She couldn’t say a simple goodbye to her own son that she had spent years battling Louis for, only to drop him as soon as something caught her attention back in the States.

As he grumbled to himself under his breath, Louis began the task of cleaning up the front yard. He scooped up strewn bits and stuffed them into the nearest bag before he hauled as many as he could carry into the house, depositing them into the rarely-used dining room to deal with later.

“Daddy?” A small sleepy voice called to Louis as he brought in another load of bags. He smiled as he turned to see his son in the doorway of the living room, his small hand rubbing at his eyes while the other tightly grasped a yellow blanket that trailed behind him on the floor.

“Hey, buddy.” Louis knelt down, dropping the bags as he pulled his son into a hug. He kissed the mop of brown hair, much like his own. “You have a good nap?”

“Uh huh.” The boy nodded into his father’s shoulder before he pushed away to look at the bags on the floor, his voice still a bit groggy with sleep. “Toys?”

“Yeah! These are your toys from Mummy’s house.” Louis pulled over one of the bags he thought mostly filled with toys from the front lawn. He held it out to his son. “Here, why don’t you take some and go play by the telly for a bit? Daddy has to finish something and then we can have a snack, yeah?”

“Okay.” Alex peered into the bag. Instead of grabbing the handles, he stuck his small arm inside and plucked out a single toy — the same plush frog Louis had forcibly kicked into the shrubbery — and trotted back into the living room. With a smile, Louis watched as his son flopped down onto his bum and hugged the frog to his chest while the large yellow bird on the screen captivated his attention once more.

Louis wasn’t sure what he was expecting to come out of this conversation, but a calm and understanding child definitely was not it.

“Okay.”

“‘Okay’? Are you sure?” Louis blinked, wary of how easy this conversation had been. He had just finished explaining that Mummy wouldn’t be picking him up tonight, after dinner, like she always did on Louis’ weekends.

He watched as his son bounced a chicken nugget on the plate a few times before he finally dipped it in a puddle of ketchup and gnawed on the piece. In an attempt to soften the blow of bad news, Louis had let the boy pick dinner that night — and, evidently, chicken nuggets were the solution to all life’s problems.

And that was a concept Louis could definitely get behind.

“Yeah, okay,” Alex spoke as he chewed his nugget. “I like staying with you, Daddy.”

“And I like having you here. Like having my little man around.” Louis grinned as he ate one of the nuggets off his own plate. “But, you know, it might be for a while, yeah? You won’t see Mummy for a bit, just gonna be you and me.”

At least, Louis hoped it was only for a little bit. As much as he was happy to finally spend more time with his son, he knew that Alex loved his mum — even if Louis wasn’t entirely thrilled with her, she was still the boy’s mum. Julie hadn’t mentioned a timeframe for how long she’d be gone when she came by earlier, and the email was just as vague as to what was happening, other than her leaving for an acting job in LA immediately.

“Okay.”

He eyed the boy as he continued to play with his food and he wondered just how much his son was really understanding. Louis supposed that none of this would sink in until a few days from now, when reality well and truly set in that Mummy isn’t coming. For now, it’s just a fun adventure, having more time at Daddy’s house.

“But what about Mommy?” Alex asked after a bit, his little face scrunched up in confusion.

Ah, there it was. Louis knew it was too good to be true. “No, love. Mummy had to go away for a bit—.”

“No. Mommy. Mommy come?”

“No, Alex. Mummy is—.”

“But Mommy? No Mummy. Mommy, Daddy. Mommy coming?”

Louis let out a snort, unable to hold back the laughter as the realization hit him. This is what he gets for sleeping with an American expat living in the UK.

“It’s the same thing. I just say it a little different. Mommy had to go away for a bit. So you’re gonna stay here with me. You and me, we’re gonna have loads of fun, yeah?” He replied as he affectionately ruffled the boy’s hair.

Alex stared at the table, his face evident of his young brain trying to wrap itself around what Louis was trying to explain. After a few moments he just shrugged before taking another nugget and bounced that one on the plate, too.

“Okay.”

Louis remained quiet as he knelt on his couch, alternating between looking out the window and down in the small space between the piece of furniture and the large window. There was nothing out of the ordinary outside to garner one’s attention, just the front yard and the quiet street and the house across said street. Again, nothing out of the ordinary.

He had previously been on a video call with Zayn — his best mate who conveniently passed his bar exam just as Louis was in need of a lawyer for a custody battle — discussing their next steps in regards to Alex essentially being left on Louis’ doorstep. Last night had gone surprisingly well, only a few tears after dinner at the time his mum usually came around, which was solved with a bit of ice cream and a few cuddles.

“Um, Lou?” Zayn interrupted as Louis was in the middle of yet another rant about his ex. “What’s up with your curtains?”

Puzzled, Louis leaned his head back and... okay, they were moving, the curtains. Which was strange given none of the windows were open. Another, non-fabric, movement caught his eye then. With a sigh, Louis excused himself from the call and turned around on the couch to investigate.

“If I may ask,” he directed his question downward, to the small boy with his face and hands plastered to the glass, leaving smudges at child-height, “what exactly are you doing?”

The boy quickly looked up before he returned his attention back outside. “Looking.”

“I can see that.” Louis rested his chin on his crossed arms. “Whatcha lookin at?”

“Looking for Harry.”

Louis raised his brow. “Harry,” he repeated his son’s answer as he looked outside again, but there was still no one, not even a car driving by.

The boy vigorously nodded his head as he continued to look around out the window. “Yeah, Harry.”

“Alex, honey, there’s no one out there.”

Alex didn’t move except to press his little forehead harder against the glass, as if it would help him see farther down the street outside.

“Wouldn’t you rather go play a bit? Pop a movie in?” Louis suggested.

“No. Gotta look for Harry, Daddy.”

Louis just let out a sigh as he turned around and sat back on the cushion to call Zayn back. If his son wanted to spend his afternoon squeezed behind the couch and looking out the window, then so be it. He wasn’t in any danger and there wasn’t any mess being made — which was good enough in Louis’ book if you asked him.

When Alex had returned to his post on Tuesday afternoon, Louis decided to move the couch a bit more away from the wall to give his son more room. And to give himself better access to the window, after nearly falling off the back of the piece the day previous trying to reach behind and clean the smudge marks off the glass.

“Back at it today?” He asked as he struggled to tug the piece of furniture over the plush carpeting.

“Yeah. Still looking for Harry.”

“Okay, Love.” Louis wiped at his brow after such exertion. “I expect a full report on your findings.”

Alex just hummed a bit as he ignored his father.

By Wednesday, the plush frog had been recruited as well.

“Got yourself some help there?” Louis nodded at the small stuffed creature balanced on the window ledge. It was looking out the window as well, helping the boy keep watch.

“He wants to see Harry, too.” Alex gave the frog a loving pat on its head.

Louis smiled at the gesture and pulled out his phone, snapping a quick picture of the pair. He sent it off to his mum and sisters as he padded back to the kitchen for a cup of tea.

Thursday brought with it a crying meltdown. 

Louis had needed to stop by Zayn’s office that morning to sign some paperwork and he decided to make a lad’s day out of it while they were in town. After finishing whatever Zayn needed of him — Louis didn’t even try to begin to understand legal things, he simply trusted his best mate to do whatever needed to be done — he snagged himself a latte and a cookie for Alex from a little coffee shop. Then it was a trip to the shops, a bit of lunch, and finally the grocery store on the way home.

It hadn’t dawned on Louis that their little outing would interfere with his son’s important duties. In fact, it hadn’t occurred to Alex either until they got home. The boy had spent the day happily trekking around town with his dad, enjoying being out of the house and being adorable with everyone they met along the way. Louis made a note to himself to look for a park in the area for his son to play at — though he had lived in this house for close to four years now, he hadn’t paid much attention to that sort of thing.

As he grabbed the day’s post out of the box on the way in, there was a loud earsplitting shriek beside him. The letters in his hand were thrown in the air as the noise took Louis by surprise. Another shriek brought his eyes to the front door where his son was writhing on the ground, crying. Louis panicked as he knelt down and scooped his son up, thinking something had happened to cause the boy pain given the sobs that were coming out of him.

“What is it, love? You hurt? What happened?” He kissed his son’s head as his eyes trailed over the boy. He had just opened the door for the boy to step inside while he got the post — did he trip without Louis noticing? Splinter from the wooden porch? Bug bite? Alex had only been out of his sight for a few seconds before he started crying.

He held the boy, giving him cuddles and words of comfort as he slowly calmed down.

“Now, what happened to get you so worked up?” Louis smiled sweetly down at the boy in his arms, now a sniffling a mess with blotchy cheeks.

“Harry... Harry came.” Alex sniffled as he continued to wipe his face on Louis’ shirt. “He come and we not here.”

“You sure?” Louis wondered how the boy came to that conclusion. They hadn’t been home for very long.

The boy nodded his head into Louis’ chest. “He come. Harry come. Wanna see Harry.”

With a sigh, Louis scooped up the dropped letters along with his son and made his way into the house. “I’m sorry, love. Maybe tomorrow we’ll see him.”

When Friday came around, Louis was beyond curious to know exactly who this Harry person was. 

He was clearly someone important to Alex, because while the boy often lost track of his train of thought (which wasn’t his fault, he was a three-year-old whose life and routine got thrown upside down), every day without fail he was back at that window — now with stuffed frog in tow — looking for Harry. And after yesterday’s antics, Louis was certain that this person truly meant something to his son.

Alex would stand there for awhile, about half an hour, not that Louis had timed his son, eagerly looking outside. Eventually he would give up the watch, walking out from behind the couch and finding Louis for a snack with a sad look of disappointment on his face.

Louis was in the kitchen cutting up an apple for snack when he felt a tug on his jeans. He looked down and found his son calmly standing beside him, his hand still grasped to Louis’ pants, blue eyes filled with sadness as they stared up.

“Hey bud. No Harry today?”

Alex simply shook his head as his gaze drifted down. “No. No Harry.”

Louis led the boy over to the table where he set the plate of apple slices down and Alex pulled himself up onto the chair. The boy slowly nibbled at his snack.

“Where’s your frog friend?” Louis asked as he snatched one of the slices off his son’s plate. He had cut extra, knowing the boy wouldn’t mind if Louis stole a few instead of dirtying another plate.

“Waiting for Harry. Froggy misses Harry too.”

“I’m sorry to hear that. How do you two know Harry any way? He a friend of yours?”

“He comes every day and plays with me. He brings stuff.” Alex mused, staring at his half eaten apple slice.

Louis froze mid chew. It had never occurred to him that Alex would have played with other kids while he was at his mum’s — Julie never mentioned what went on while he wasn’t at Louis’. But it was only natural for a kid to have friends. Harry must have been someone in the neighborhood Alex was friendly with, probably having play dates and such. 

Louis was pretty sure his heart broke in that moment. His poor boy, already having to be away from his mum, thrown into a new and unfamiliar routine, and only now did Louis realize he was taken away from his friends too.

But Louis thought himself a good dad. He could definitely fix this for his son.

“He’s really funny too.” Alex giggled, which pulled Louis’ focus back to the present.

“Sounds like a good lad, he is.” Louis smiled. “Why don’t I try to give his mum a ring, see if Harry can come over sometime?

“Really?” The boy’s eyes lit up.

Louis’ heart warmed as he watched his son’s face fill with such excitement and happiness. “Of course.”

“About damn time I got ahold of you.” Louis snapped into the phone he held up to his ear. He was sat out on the front step that afternoon. It was warm and sunny out and he had convinced Alex to watch for Harry outside today rather than from behind the couch. Froggy was up on the mailbox dutifully keeping watch for Harry while Alex was off rolling around in the grass, playing some game of his own making.

“This better be important, Lewis. I have things to do.” Julie’s voice had a hint of annoyance, but by now Louis didn’t expect anything less.

“Oh, it’s only regarding our son — you do remember you have one right? A son?” Louis glared into the grass, not having his ex here to receive said look.

He had been trying to reach the woman all weekend. The first call was right after his conversation with Alex on Friday, and while he had left a voicemail Louis knew better and kept calling. Saturday and Sunday passed, as well as Monday, all his calls going unanswered. He told himself if she hadn’t responded by today he’d bring it up to Zayn if anything could be done from a legal standpoint.

“He misses you by the way, since he didn’t even get to say goodbye. Not that you bothered to ask. Or call.”

“I need to be in hair and makeup in ten. Get on with it.”

Louis took a breath, calming himself. As much as he wanted to snap, he needed this conversation to be productive — for Alex’s sake. After he got what he needed, then he could be as petty and sarcastic as he wanted.

“Do you have Harry’s mum’s number so I can call for a play date? Or where he lives? Alex is missing him and—.”

“Who the fuck is Harry?”

“What do you mean ‘who the fuck is Harry’? Alex talks about him all the time!” Louis snapped. Was she really being serious right now? “Our son’s been sitting at the window every day waiting for his little mate to come over and play.”

Strangely, during the course of the weekend, the surveillance for Harry had stopped. Alex carried on like any other weekend he had always had with Louis, not even once trying to peek out the window after his nap. Louis assumed it was because he had mentioned calling Harry’s mum for a play date. But then came Monday and he was back at his post.

“I’m being honest,” there was a condescending laugh from the other end of the line, as if this was all a hilarious joke. “I don’t know of any Harry kid. Alex would rather sit by himself than play with people. I gave up trying to take him to the park ages ago, kept clinging to me instead of actually playing or making friends. Waste of time.”

“He’s three, Julie! Of course he’s going to cling to you instead of wander on his own around a bunch of strangers! You have to help him figure out to make friends! He doesn’t just automatically know!” It was times like these Louis wondered just what it was he ever saw in this woman. It was also times like these that made him even more sure of the change he had made in his dating life — a change he should have made a long time ago.

“I’ll hang up if you’re going to keep talking to me like that.”

“No, don’t.” Louis spoke through gritted teeth. He was doing this for Alex. He was doing this to make his son happy. “So, you’re telling me he doesn’t... he doesn’t have anyone? To play with? No one at all?”

“No, Louis. Your son doesn’t have any little friends, and therefore I don’t have anyone’s phone number to call for a play date.” There was another huff of air. “And before you ask, no, I don’t know where he got the name Harry. Maybe he made up an imaginary friend after being stuck with you all day. Now I need to go. Goodbye, Louis.”

Before he could say anything, there was a click and the call ended — the dial tone playing loud through the tiny speaker. He tossed the phone beside him on the porch, frustrated with the whole ordeal.

Alex was clearly missing someone named Harry. He supposed the boy could have created an imaginary friend. But that kind of longing and missing a person couldn’t be made up by someone that young. Maybe Louis’ ex was being petty, and there really was a boy that Alex played with and she couldn’t be bothered to tell Louis.

There was one other way to find out.

It wasn’t until the following week Louis was able to take his son out for his plan to find Harry. If it wasn’t the usual rainy English weather that put a damper on their plans, it was Louis having to sort out the work deadlines he had inadvertently put on hold that had kept the pair from making it outside.

It was a short bus trip to the street Julie had lived on. While it was only a twenty minute walk from where Louis lived, Louis very much didn’t want to walk a toddler the whole way. Besides, the boy was mesmerized by the large vehicle, even for the short time they were on it.

As the doors opened, Louis hopped off, child perched on his hip. “Alright, love. Here we are.” He nuzzled at the boy’s hair, tiny arms wrapped around his neck. “Does this look familiar?” 

The boy popped his head up, taking in the sights as Louis made his way down the street to a two-flat a few doors from the corner they had been dropped off at. He didn’t speak until Louis set him down in front of the familiar white fenced gate.

“Mommy?” Alex pointed a finger to the brick structure behind them.

“No, love. Mummy doesn’t live there anymore, remember.” Louis took the toddler’s hand in his own, holding tight. This street was a bit busier than the one he lived on and he didn’t need the small boy stumbling off anywhere. “You said Harry came to visit you here. Do you remember where he lives?”

Louis’ plan was simple. After the fruitless call to his ex, the idea had come to him to take Alex back to where Julie lived. That was where he and Harry interacted, and perhaps seeing the familiar area would prompt the boy to tell Louis more — importantly, where Harry lived. He had to live nearby if he was able to visit so frequently.

The boy simply shook his head.

“Well, which way did he walk from when he came to play?”

Alex pointed from the direction in which they had come from.

Louis looked back at the line of homes, the majority of which were multi-level flats. This was going to be harder than he anticipated. “And you don’t know his last name?”

“Harry.”

“Naturally,” Louis muttered under his breath. Well, it was worth a shot. He supposed he could buzz each flat asking for Harry, but there was no guarantee his family was home on a Thursday morning. And he’d probably end up with a bunch of angry people calling the police on him.

Maybe if he kept the boy talking, he would inadvertently let more details slip, not knowing they would be helpful. “Okay then. So. When Harry came over, where did you guys play?”

Alex turned and pointed to the house.

“Inside?” Small head shake. “Porch?” Another shake. “Use your words, love. Can’t read your mind.” He kindly reminded his son.

“Harry outside. Me inside.”

Oh. Well then. That was something Louis didn’t see coming. “But... how...?”

There was a tug on Louis’ hand as Alex pulled him toward the house. He reluctantly let the boy lead him, hoping the flat hadn’t been rented out yet as Julie had lived on the ground floor. They probably shouldn’t even be on the property, come to think of it, but Louis walked on. When they reached the front door, the boy paused before poking at the swinging door of the gold mail slot.

The mail slot. They talked through the damn mail slot. A small fire of rage began to burn inside Louis, that his son had to play with a friend through a mail slot instead of inside or in the yard like a normal child. That his mother couldn’t even be bothered to realize her son did actually have a friend.

But as much as this was a revelation and all, none of it helped with figuring out just who Harry was — or where he was. Louis knew he wasn’t going to get much more out of the boy as he stood there, still poking the door of the mail slot.

“Hey, I just remembered. I think there’s a park down the way a bit. How about we go check it out?” Louis offered.

Alex’s eyes lit up at the mention. “Park! Let’s go to park!”

Suddenly Louis found himself being dragged away from the house. With any luck Harry would be there, or at the very least some other kids for the boy to play with.

“You did your best. Stop beating yourself up, man.”

Louis knew Liam was just trying to cheer him up, but it wasn’t working. He still felt like a complete failure of a parent.

“All my kid wants is his friend. And I can’t give him that.” Louis downed the last of his bottle. His sister, Lottie, was watching Alex for the night, giving him the freedom to head out for a night at the bar with the lads — though, his social life consisted entirely of his lawyer, his lawyer’s boyfriend (the aforementioned Liam), and the Irishman who was Louis’ former roommate at uni turned bar owner and bartender.

“It’s okay. It’s not that bad.” Liam, bless his heart, really was trying.

“Oh, it’s that bad.” Zayn piped in as he sat on Liam’s other side at the bar. “Poor kid’s had his life torn apart. His mother abandoned him and there isn’t even any closure of a goodbye.” He quickly lifted a finger, signaling to Niall for a drink when the man looked over. “I mean, that’s some traumatic shit for anyone. Especially a kid. Best start saving now for the inevitable therapy he’s gonna need.”

“Gee, thanks Zee.” Louis rolled his eyes. “Law a bit slow these days and you’re going for your therapist license now?”

“Gotta be well rounded in this line of work,” Zayn smirked. “Just have your paychecks direct deposited to my account, save some time paying me for my wide array of services.”

Louis threw his head back in laughter. Even though they were good friends and he was cutting Louis some slack, Zayn was still expensive as a lawyer. He was just glad he didn’t have to pay someone a regular rate.

“Hey, we laughing at Zayn’s taste in men again?” Niall’s chipper voice called out as he walked over, sliding a bottle across the bar to Zayn. 

Louis and Zayn both snorted as Liam scowled at the barman. “Just for that, I’m not tipping you.”

Niall gave a cackle as he pulled various bottles together for a mixed a drink. “Then I’ll charge you full price, Payno.”

“Hey, don’t mess with the cheap booze.” Louis pointed his empty bottle at a disgruntled Liam. “Especially when an Irishman is serving them up.”

“Especially when an Irishman is serving them up.” Niall echoed as he finished off the drink, something pink with a sprig of green. A fruity something or other probably for one of the many young girls at the bar, out on a Friday night.

Except Niall set the glass on a small coaster in front of Louis.

“Ni? What’s this?” He raised a questioning brow at his friend as he gestured at the glass. He was very much a beer man, and not too fond of helping out his friend concoct new drinks. Especially after the time Niall tried making a bacon themed margarita.

“Compliments of the man at the end of the bar.” Niall winked as he took Louis’ empty bottle. “He’s been eyeing you all night.”

Louis could feel a blush quickly creep across his cheeks as he stared at the drink in front of him. No one had ever bought him a drink before. He braved a glance to each side of the bar before finally settling his eyes off to his left, on the man leaning slightly back on his bar stool.

“He’s a decent lad, comes here on occasion. Generous tipper. And I may have told him you were a single Pringle when I noticed him gawking at you.”

In that moment, Louis was thankful for Niall’s insistence of regular lighting at the bar. He was able to see and fully appreciate the attractive stranger who gave a sly smile, that showcased a beautiful dimple, along with a rather seductive wink of one of his mesmerizing green eyes once he noticed Louis’ gaze.

Louis’ blush deepened at the wink. This was easily the most beautiful man Louis had ever seen — if he hadn’t already come to terms with his sexuality, he definitely would have become gay for that man. One thing was for certain, he had never felt this amount of butterflies over a woman, ever. He quickly looked back to Niall who sported a wicked grin as he grabbed two handfuls of beer bottles.

“You’re welcome.” The brunette whispered as he sauntered off to serve other customers.

“What do I do?!” Louis squeaked, actually squeaked, as he turned to his friends and their smug looks.

Louis was still rather new to this whole gay dating thing and was never sure what he should or shouldn’t do — was there some type of protocol or something, flirting with a man instead of a woman? — something his friends always made fun of him for. He knew what to do with a woman: eye contact, flirt a bit, put on the old Tommo charm. 

He just didn’t know how to act around a man he was interested in.

“Literally whatever you would do with a pretty girl.” Liam would roll his eyes.

“But do it to a pretty boy.” Zayn would add.

With that advice in mind, it ought to be noted that Louis had never once followed a woman to the bathroom at the bar. 

Yet, here he was, braced up against the door of a stall, having his mind literally blown out of him by the attractive man kneeling before him.

“Ho... ly... fuck.” Louis panted, his eyes rolling back for what felt like the hundredth time since this started. Since acting on his feelings towards men, he had gotten head a few times (though, this impromptu bathroom business was a first), but this man was something else entirely. Louis could feel his legs going weak and he was extremely thankful for the sturdy door holding him up right now.

He had been nervously nursing his fruity drink, trying to figure out what to do next, when he suddenly felt the soft touch of fingers run across his shoulder blades. Louis choked on his drink as he turned back and made eye contact with the attractive man once again, in all his loose floral shirt and black skinny jean glory — up close he was absolutely stunning, breathtaking really. The man nodded in the direction he was going, his eyes asking the silent question to follow as he walked away with a playful smirk.

Of course Louis followed, nearly knocking over his glass and tripping over the foot of his barstool in the process. That was how he ended up snogging the stranger — who was also very, very tall — in the men’s bathroom of Niall’s bar. One thing led to another and that was how he subsequently ended up with the beautiful man sucking him off in said bathroom.

“Oh fuck.” Louis groaned as he felt the phone in his pocket vibrate again.

“That wasn’t a good fuck,” the stranger mused in his low, drawling voice. “I only want good fucks from you.”

“Just my phone,” Louis panted as he rejected the call without looking at the device. “Don’t stop.”

As soon as the man started back up, so did Louis’ phone.

“Oh come on.”

“Answer it. I can wait.” The man gave Louis’s thighs a soft squeeze as he planted a soft kiss at the very tip of his length. 

When Louis pulled the phone from his pocket, he saw it was his mum calling. “Oh shit. Hello?” He asked as he tried to steady his breaths as he answered the call. “No, no. ‘M fine. Had to run outside, music was too loud to answer.” 

There was a low chuckle from in front of him as he said that. Louis playfully smacked the man’s head, who only smiled up at him before nosing his way back to Louis’ crotch.

“He’s what?” It took all of Louis’ conscious thought to keep his voice steady and focus on his mother’s words instead of the man’s lips doing other things. “Oh shit. Yeah. Yeah, no, I’ll be right there. I’m coming.”

As he ended the call, Louis pushed the man’s head back. “Stop. I need to go.” His voice was stern as he tucked himself — painfully — back into his pants.

“Go?” There was a disappointment to the deep voice that matched the look in the man’s eyes as Louis looked down.

“‘M sorry. My kid, he-he’s sick. I have to go pick him up from my mum’s place.” He tugged the man to his feet, pulling him in for a kiss. “But call me, yeah? Text me? Cause this was great. You’re great. Would love to see you again. I’m so sorry.”

He kissed the man’s cheek before he scurried out the door and out of the bar itself.

It wasn’t until much later that night, after Alex was asleep in his bed with a bucket and a nest of towels — Louis was almost certain Alex getting sick was a one-off from too much fun and ice cream with his aunties, but better safe than sorry — Louis realized that, in his haste to go pick up his son, he had never given the man his number.

He didn’t even know his name.

“Are you sad, Daddy?”

It was a simple enough question that his son posed. And a well deserved one at that, Louis figured as he lay on the couch. He had been there all day, getting up for long enough periods to take care of his son’s needs and to reheat the same cup of tea that kept going cold before laying back down.

“A little, yeah.” He flashed a quick smile at the boy who stood beside him.

“Why are you sad?”

Now, that was harder to answer.

It was a little bit of everything, if Louis were to be honest. Mostly, though, it was wallowing in self pity. He was right shit at everything in life. 

He couldn’t find his son his only and closest friend, he just let his ex walk out of his son’s life without even so much as a fight, and he probably wasn’t making enough vegetables or engaging his son in learning based activities or reading him enough books — like a proper parent would. The kid spent half his day in front of the telly for gods sake.

And he was still kicking himself for letting the man at the bar slip through his grasp. He couldn’t help but think of the what-ifs, what they could have been. There was a small part of his brain that knew it very well could have just ended up as a one night stand, but was the not knowing that was eating away at him. And being able to clearly picture that beautiful man almost a week later — if he wasn’t so busy feeling sorry for himself he could easily wank off to it.

It had been too long since he called his mum, and he had younger siblings that he wasn’t around enough for. He had been living in this house for years and had yet to do any of the projects off the list he made when he moved in. He didn’t even want to think about the mountains of laundry. And when was the last time he did anything for himself — played a bit of footie, go see a band perform, a movie even?

He paid his bills on time and kept his son fed and alive — that was about all Louis had going for him.

“Sometimes you just need to be sad for a little bit so you can feel happy later. ‘M okay though.”

The boy paused, his brow furrowed as he thought. Louis closed his eyes for a moment, only for there to be a soft thump on his chest. “Here.”

Louis cracked his eyes only to come face to face with his son’s plush frog. He glanced over at the boy.

“Harry give me Froggy so I be happy.” Alex petted the back of the animal as he talked. “Now you have Froggy, you be happy too.”

A smile crept across Louis’ lips as he stared into the frog’s plastic eyes. How was his son still so sweet and caring, with everything that had happened these last few weeks? “Thanks, love.” He reached his arm out to pull the boy into a hug. “You know, I think it’s working. I feel happier already.”

“Really?” Alex chirped, his eyes bright with excitement.

“Really.” Louis pressed the toy back into his small hands as he kissed the boy’s cheek.

Louis was never, in his entire life, a morning person — he shuddered at the mere thought of having to be fully functional before nine a.m. There was one semester back in uni where he had a humanities course at the ripe hour of eight a.m. and he honestly thought he was going to die.

So of course he would end up buying a house in a neighborhood where the post was delivered at a similar ungodly hour. It usually didn’t matter, as Louis would just grab the day’s post at some point later in the day, whenever he felt like stepping out to get it from the little box that hung by the front door. But today he was expecting a package and really didn’t want to drag himself and Alex into town to pick it up if he missed it being delivered.

Given the early hour of his post delivery, Louis never saw it actually be delivered. He had seen the older woman maybe a handful of times back when he moved in, when he was still commuting to the old office. But since he switched to working from home, well, the box was just magically filled with correspondence every day. He rarely checked the box before lunch, and the carrier never came while Alex was conducting his watch for Harry in the afternoon — therefore, Louis concluded, the post must be delivered sometime in the morning.

So this morning Louis reluctantly hauled himself out of bed to make a cup of tea and watch for the post woman to come by with his package. 

He chuckled to himself a bit later as he stood by the toaster, waiting for the bagel to pop up — Alex and Froggy had temporarily taken over guard duty while Louis made breakfast — thinking how he had been acting much like his son just now, gazing out the window waiting for someone to show —

“Harry!”

Louis nearly dropped his cup of hot tea as Alex’s voice suddenly filled the house. He jabbed the button on the toaster, popping it up.

“Harry! Harry!”

“What the hell?” Louis muttered as he stepped out of the kitchen.

“Daddy! Harry!” Alex whined as he ran over to Louis and pulled him toward the door. “Harry!”

“Okay, okay. Daddy’s coming. Calm down.” While he was awake enough to wonder why the hell his son’s friend was showing up uninvited at almost nine in the morning, it took him a moment to ask himself how the boy knew to come here, given Louis hadn’t been able to find him or his parents to tell them Alex had moved. 

However, Louis didn’t have time to ponder on that thought too long. As soon as he unlocked the door and cracked it just a bit, Alex pushed the door open with his small hands — enough for him to squeeze through the gap. Now, in his short life, Louis’ son had never been a runner, had always stayed by Louis’ side and held his hand without being prompted. So it took Louis a few seconds, especially in his still sleepy state, to realize that Alex had, indeed, just made a break for it out the door.

Shit.

The boy was already halfway across the lawn by time Louis coordinated himself enough to chase after him. When he looked back on this moment later, he supposed it was quite the hilarious sight for his neighbors: the small boy booking it across the lawn, in his footed dinosaur pajamas, and his half-asleep father sprinting to catch up still in plaid sleep pants and an old band shirt, barefoot.

“Harry!” The boy called out again.

Louis skidded to a halt as he saw where his son was headed — or, rather, to who. At the end of the driveway, a young man in a Royal Post uniform turned around, his green eyes widening as he took in the sight of a small boy running at him.

Eyes that Louis had etched into his memory.

“Alex! Hey big guy!” The man knelt down in time for the small boy to slam into his chest for a warm embrace, the man’s beautiful face turning into what Louis could only describe as literal sunshine — so full of happiness and joy. 

“Harry,” the boy giggled into the man’s shoulder.

“What are you doing all the way over here?”

“He um... lives here now?” Louis quietly chimed in as he finally caught up to the pair. He didn’t mean for it to be a question, but he was having a bit of a hard time forming a proper sentence as he stared into the face of the man he had rudely abandoned — mid blowjob — in a bathroom stall last weekend.

The other man stood up, taken aback as his eyes looked Louis over, his smile fading into a nervous expression as he recognized the man. Alex had taken to hugging the man’s leg, still grinning.

“So... you’re Harry?” Louis asked, in an attempt to break the tension that was now rife in the air.

“Harry!” The boy chirped.

“I... uh... yeah. ‘M Harry.” The man, Harry, gulped.

Louis just smiled. “You could have told me Harry was a post man. Would have made it a bit easier to find him, you silly goose.” He leaned down and booped his son on the nose with his finger, making the boy giggle once more. Standing back up he addressed Harry. “He’s been talking about you for weeks. I thought you were some kid he played with back at his mum’s house.”

“Oh! Um, speaking of, that reminds me,” Harry suddenly dug a hand into the pocket of his pants and pulled out a small plastic giraffe. “Been carrying this with me hoping I’d see you again. Here you go, buddy.” He handed the small item down to the boy, who unlatched himself from the man’s leg and ran back inside, giraffe cradled in his cupped hands.

The two men watched the boy leave and an awkward silence fell once more.

“I, um, should go. My route—.”

“Please wait.” Louis pleaded. “Look, I’m sorry. I honestly didn’t realize that I didn’t give you my number and —.”

“It’s okay. I understand.” Harry pressed his lips — his beautiful, plump lips — into a sad, thin smile as he kept his eyes trained on the ground. He turned to leave but Louis was quick to place a hand on the man’s shoulder.

“No! No, I—.” Louis paused, quickly removing his hand. Was he allowed to touch a Royal Post worker? “Harry. I really want to give you my number. And see you again — but, not like this, after work? If you — if you want to. Dinner maybe? Or coffee? Or we could um... finish where we, uh, you know, left off?”

Harry let out a noise somewhere between a snort and a laugh. “Well, it’s nice to know there was an actual sick kid and you weren’t just pushing me off cause I suck at, well, sucking.” He laughed at his own pun, making Louis laugh in the process.

“Oh god no. No, no, no. You were great. Had to finish myself off in the car just to drive.” Louis chuckled as he patted around for his phone, forgetting he was still in his sleep clothes. “I really want to give you my number, I just don’t have...”

“Here, I left mine in the truck, so just send me a text, yeah?” Harry pulled out a pen and scribbled his number on the back of an ‘attempted delivery’ slip.

Louis blushed as he thanked the other man and they bid their goodbyes. After only a few steps, Louis turned back. 

“Harry, wait!”

Harry cocked his head as he turned back, hand shoved into his bag reaching for the next house’s mail.

“I was supposed to get a package?”

Harry scrunched his face into a smile as he began walking backwards, away from Louis. He shook a handful of paper. “I just deliver letters. Someone else does packages.”

“Oh.”

The next morning Louis came to terms with two things.

One: he was no longer the spritely youth he once was to stay up half the night conversing with Zayn and Niall about his newest love affair and still function like an adult before noon the next day.

And two: he was going to be getting up at an ungodly hour for the foreseeable future because his son was obsessed with the (stupidly attractive) postman who came by at what felt like the asscrack of dawn.

“Oh no you don’t. Keep your bum right here.” Louis pulled his son back down on the step beside him. They were sitting outside, waiting for Harry to come by, and the boy had spotted the man in question a few houses down. “He’ll be here soon enough. You can wait.”

Alex was vibrating as he sat there, his little feet tapping, legs bouncing.

Louis, however still felt like his brain was swimming in the fog of sleep and his body longed to curl back under the blankets for another hour — or four. The travel mug he had filled with tea was doing nothing to help him feel more awake. But once he had caught a quick glimpse of a black hat covering chocolate curls off in the distance he felt himself perk up a bit, a few of the butterflies in his stomach having woken up as well.

He had texted Harry as soon as he walked into the house yesterday morning and snatched his own phone off the kitchen counter where he had left it. It was another hour or so before Harry got back to his truck to respond and they had chatted sporadically throughout the day. It was easy and fun, Louis with his shitty autocorrect and Harry with his adorable overuse of emoji. This morning he had sent Louis a small string of sunrises followed by a unicorn and other random emojis.

The message was sent at five thirty that morning. Louis actually shuddered when he read the time stamp.

“Hi Harry!”

Louis looked up to find Harry only steps away as he finished his walk up the drive.

“Hey there!” Harry grinned as he held out his hand for Alex to give him a high-five. He winked at Louis. “And Alex’s handsome dad who still hasn’t told me his name.”

“Do I get a high-five too if I tell you?” Louis winked back. Harry let out a honking laugh as he sorted through his bag for the post. “Louis, by the way.” He sipped his tea.

“Hmm, just a high-five? Cause I mean, I’m really good with my hands you know. Really good.”

It was the little eyebrow wiggle at ‘really good’ that made Louis spit out his tea.

Alex laughed at his now sputtering father, thankfully too young to even begin to comprehend that bit of innuendo.

“Hey Alex,” Harry continued on, as if none of that had just happened, “you know what today is?”

“Friday!” The boy eagerly shouted once he composed himself to actually speak.

“Friday?” Louis raised a brow as he took another sip, this time successfully swallowing it.

“On Fridays Alex and I share a good chuckle over one of my many excellent jokes.”

“Harry is really funny,” Alex whispered to Louis, still vibrating with excitement.

“Well, by all means, don’t let me stop you.”

“Alright then.” Harry cleared his throat. “Knock knock.”

“Who—who there?” The boy was already beginning to giggle, his gaze set intently on Harry.

“A cow goes.”

“A-A cow g-goes who?” Alex really was trying to hold it in but was failing miserably, which made Louis smile — watching his son be so happy. Getting up at this ungodly hour was worth it, just for this alone.

“No, silly!” Harry bent over with a grin, gently poking the boy’s stomach. “A cow goes ‘moo’!”

Louis couldn’t help but snort as Harry delivered the punchline. “That was awful.”

“The audience begs to differ.” He nodded to the child who was currently writhing around in a fit of laughter. “Your post, my good sir.” With a bow Harry held out a small stack of letters that Louis accepted.

Apparently there was an entire schedule to the week, Louis came to find out.

Mondays, Harry and Alex would tell each other one fun thing about their weekend.

“I always knew when he went to visit you,” Harry had told Louis. “It was all he’d ever talk about that Monday, everything he did with his dad that weekend. He was always so happy to spend the weekend with you.” And Louis would be lying if he said that didn’t make him tear up a bit.

On Tuesdays they would play two rounds of rock, paper, scissors or tic tac toe — maybe one of each if they felt daring that day.

Wednesdays, if Harry didn’t have to work a package route — which was more often than not — Harry would bring Alex a little present.

“No, no, nothing big. I bought one of those little plastic buckets of zoo animals, you know, the ones you see by the checkout lane?” Harry explained. “I just bring one of those little animals over. Nothing fancy. And he loves them. It’s the thought that counts, yeah?”

“He said you gave him that frog that he carries around everywhere.” Louis replied.

“He said it was his birthday! So sue me!”

Thursdays Alex could ask one question that Harry would try his best to answer — or, rather, Harry would ask Siri and she would answer.

And Friday meant one of Harry’s godawful jokes.

“And the first horse says to the farmer: ‘No, sir, I’m just a little hoarse!’”

Louis just shook his head as his son doubled over in laughter. He was pretty sure the boy didn’t actually understand the joke and was just laughing at the delivery of a punchline, but it was still cute.

Fridays also meant it was Louis’ weekly attempt to ask Harry out — or, rather, to get the nerve to ask Harry out. They had been continuously texting these few weeks, and even had a phone call or two, and it was like talking with an old friend — like he had known Harry his whole life.

They had learned so much about each other from their little chats that Louis wondered what they would even talk about if they did go out. Like when they talked about what Louis studied in uni, Harry brought up how he had dropped out of uni before the end of his second year, the pressure and his anxiety too much, and his uncle landed him a job at the Royal Post not long after.

“I want to finish,” Harry whispered over the line. It was late at night, both men up long past when they should have gone to bed, gossiping over the phone like two teenagers. “I was studying music theory and I really loved it — the material. Want to teach music to kids, help them love it too. Maybe someday. Online classes or something.”

“Of course. You can do it, Haz,” Louis whispered back, smiling at the little nickname he had let slip from his lips.

Harry listened to classic rock, played the guitar and sang like an angel, he read loads of books, went for runs (on top of his walking route, Louis had clarified, to which Harry sent a string of laughing and sneaker emojis), and enjoyed cooking. He loved soft, pretty things; flowers and sparkles and baby animals, curling up with soft blankets and cuddling.

 _I like painting my nails_. He had admitted over text one day. _But it’s against uniform so I can’t except weekends_.

And that made Louis sad once he read it. They had only just met, and Louis wanted to do everything in his willpower to make and keep his Harry happy.

Harry was just so pure and sweet and wonderful. All Louis had to offer up was a kid from a previous relationship, that he had only just recently coming to terms with his desire for a man, a love for indie music — oh, and he could make an excellent cup of tea, he excelled at that. 

He’d be lying if he said he didn’t feel at least a bit inadequate in comparison.

And beside the fact that Harry was perfectly intimidating, Louis had never asked out a man before. He had been out on a couple of dates that spawned from an app, but asking someone out for drinks on his phone was different than standing in front of the actual person and doing it. He was confident with women after years of building himself up — this was still so new to him; right, but new.

“I know my jokes are good, but I didn’t think they were good enough to leave you speechless.” Harry smirked.

Louis coughed in an attempt to hide his moment of daydreaming. “Don’t flatter yourself, Styles.”

That was another thing about Harry: his last name was Styles. Harry Styles. That was the name of a model or a rockstar, not a simple postman in a sleepy little English suburb. An absolute perfect name that just rolled off the tongue and made Louis smile thinking about it.

“So.” Harry rocked back on his heels as he met Louis’ eyes.

“So.” Louis repeated. He glanced to his side and noticed his son had disappeared, leaving them alone outside.

“Look, um, so I’ve got this friend, Ed, he’s playing a gig tonight. At that bar we um... where we met?” Harry was stumbling over his words, something Louis had come to learn was a nervous tic of his. So was rambling. “Anyway. I was wondering if you’d like to go? Together? I mean, if you can get someone to watch Alex so you can go. It’s short notice so, um, I understand if you can’t — or, you know, we could do—.”

“Nonsense. I’d love to go.” Louis popped up onto his feet, startling the tall man. He tipped up onto his toes to give Harry a kiss on the cheek. “Been wanting to ask you out for ages, but I’m a bit of a chicken.”

“Lou!” Harry playfully scolded with a smile as he pressed a hand to his cheek. “I can’t be fraternizing while on the clock.”

“Oh shush.”

“I can’t believe I could have been getting cheap alcohol this whole time!” Harry pouted as they walked down the street, arms around each other. They had each had a few drinks — enough to feel buzzed and a bit giggly but still very much in control of themselves (not that Louis stumbled on a crack a few buildings back or anything, nope). “I’d seen you around there before, you know. At the bar. But you were so beautiful with your smile and your eyes and your laugh — god, your laugh! If only I had gotten the balls to buy you a drink sooner!”

Louis giggled as he pressed his nose into Harry’s shoulder. Harry smelled wonderful, like expensive cologne and fabric softener. “You mean if Niall had noticed your pining sooner.” Harry gave an indignant huff that only made Louis laugh harder.

They had just left Niall’s bar after Ed’s show — which was magnificent, what Louis saw of it at least. At some point they had wandered into the bathrooms and finished what had been started ages ago, missing a good portion of the set. Louis wasn’t sure where they were at the moment, assuming Harry knew as he was just following the pretty man’s lead.

And, Lord, was Harry pretty tonight. Not that he wasn’t always, but tonight was especially so. A half open light pink shirt left little to Louis’ imagination as two tattooed birds peered out from the open fabric. Same for the black jeans that had to have been painted on, they were hugging everything just right. Louis felt as though he paled in comparison with just a baggy (but fashionable, thank you) adidas sweatshirt and what he considered one of his nicer pairs of jeans that just so happened to show off his ass.

Even Lottie complained about the outfit when he dropped Alex off, telling him he should put a bit more effort into his appearance. He had brushed her off, saying it wasn’t that serious.

Clearly he was wrong.

“Wanna come back to mine for a bit?” Harry laid his head atop Louis’ as he still pressed his face into Harry’s shoulder.

“What kind of man do you take me for, Harold?” Louis tried to sound serious, but that was a bit hard with the alcohol still coursing through his veins and the magnetic pull of the man beside him.

“One who practically dragged me into the bathroom to suck him off,” Harry chuckled for a moment before he turned serious. “We don’t have to... anything. Just, don’t want this to end yet.”

“Mm, me either.”

“Good. Cause, we’re here!” Harry sang as he pushed Louis upright.

Louis just smiled as he playfully shoved Harry through the door to the lobby. “You little sneak.”

Harry’s flat was more Harry than Harry was, if that was possible. It was a cozy hodge-podge of mismatched furniture and decor. A bit classic, a touch of bohemian, with little piles of books strewn about, and even a gaudy handmade afghan on the back of the couch. Fairy lights covered the walls, giving everything a warm glow.

Strong arms wrapped around Louis’ waist from behind as he admired a tacky lamp whose base was a ceramic fish. A kiss found its way to the spot just below his ear and Louis let out an involuntary moan from the touch. Maybe it was the alcohol, but Louis suddenly found himself in possession of a surge of confidence and turned around in Harry’s arms, grabbing the man’s face and pulling him down into a kiss.

“I’m fine to anything,” Louis spoke between kisses, quoting Harry from only minutes ago.

It didn’t take much convincing to prove to Harry that Louis was serious, and it was a short distance from the living room to the bedroom in the small single bedroom flat. Yet, as soon as Louis hit the mattress his confidence began to falter. 

It was beginning to get hard to form a proper train of thought between the nerves and watching Harry strip his shirt off before chucking it to the side. It got harder still (and other things got harder, not to point out the obvious) as Harry returned to kissing him, pausing long enough to pull Louis’s sweatshirt over his head. At some point their trousers had been removed, and somewhere else along the way they had rolled over as now Louis hovered over Harry, trailing kisses along his jaw as Harry’s hands roamed his backside.

Louis had been in the middle of marking Harry’s neck when he became aware Harry had asked him a question.

“What was that?” He murmured as he worked back up to Harry’s chiseled jawline.

“I said,” Harry paused to groan as Louis hit one particular spot, “top or bottom? I can do either, doesn’t matter.”

There was silence as Louis tried to figure out how to answer the question. As much as he had thought about this with Harry, he had never thought about that. “I don’t — I don’t know?”

“Oh, okay, um. We don’t have to, it’s okay, I didn’t mean to pressure you, I—.”

“No, no I want to.” He reached over and pulled Harry’s hand down between them so he could feel just how much Louis wanted this. “I just... I’ve never been with a man, Harry. Not like this, anyway.”

“What! Seriously?” Harry’s eyes widened in disbelief, making Louis cringe before he nodded. “You’re actually serious. How? Lou, your ass is literally every gay man’s dream!” To prove his point Harry gave Louis’ bum a firm squeeze.

Louis pressed his face into Harry’s chest to stifle his laugh at the feeling. “Dunno. Finally gave into my curiosity about men after all this years. You have yet to disappoint, Styles.”

“So I’m taking your gay virginity tonight?” Harry asked with a smirk after Louis finally lifted his head.

Louis let out an indignant squawk. “I’m not a virgin! I have a kid!”

“Virginity and gay virginity are two totally different things. And as the veteran bisexual in this relationship, I should know.”

Louis blushed. Harry had said ‘relationship’, and, was that what this was? It was absolutely what Louis wanted, he was sure, but he never would have thought to define it this quickly.

“Tell you what.” Harry continued as he flipped them over in one swift movement, and pinned Louis beneath him. His deep voice hummed in Louis’ ear. “It being your first time and all, I’ll top. Take good care of you, treat you real good. Show you how good sex with a man can be, Hmm?”

Louis really couldn’t argue with that, even if he was able to form a proper sentence right now what with Harry trailing kisses down his chest.

As Harry slowly made his way down Louis’ stomach, a thought hit him and he suddenly let out a honking laugh.

Harry lofted his head to give a questioning glare. “That’s not the usual noise to make when someone’s about to go down on you.”

“It’s just,” Louis gasped with laughter, “this is like the world’s biggest cliche: I’m sleeping with the postman!”

Harry Styles had ruined sex for Louis, there was no doubt about it. After this night, he’d never be able to sleep with another man — or woman — ever again, the sex was that great. He would have switched to men ages ago had he known it would be like this.

The two lay in bed, Harry curled up into Louis side, his head pressed into Louis’ neck. Louis played with the man’s hair, running his fingers through the soft barely-there curls.

“Can I ask you something?” Louis quietly asked.

“I need to recuperate a bit before we go another round, Lou. Two’s my limit.” Came Harry’s mumbled reply.

“No, not that.” He kissed the top of the man’s head. “How did you and Alex become friends?”

Harry scooted up the bed a bit to rest his head on the pillow, opening his eyes to look at Louis. “I was doing my route one day and he lifted the flap of the mail slot and said ‘hi’ and we just hit it off. After that he was always there waiting for me. He needed someone and I was there.”

“Thank you. For caring. I haven’t told you half the shit his mum has pulled over the years, but it means a lot to me that someone actually stopped to care, even for a couple minutes a day.”

“He’s a great kid.” Harry smiled as his eyelids began to flutter.

They were quiet for a moment before Louis piped up.

“No, wait. I have two questions.”

“Anything.” Harry yawned.

“How the hell did you get that stuffed frog through the mail slot?”

Louis slowly padded his way down the stairs, the smell of bacon and pancakes propelling him forward. He let out a yawn as he turned on the bottom stair and made his way to the kitchen. He had been a bit disappointed waking up alone — he wanted more cuddles under the blankets with his personal furnace before tackling the day — but a home cooked breakfast was a nice consolation prize.

“Morning kiddo,” he gave a sleepy smile as he ruffled his son’s hair when he passed by the table. Alex gave a mumbled response, his mouth full of pancakes. Louis chuckled as he noticed the plush frog had his own plate with a single slice of bacon and a pancake and a tiny cup of juice.

“Hey sleepyhead.” Harry held out a cup of tea as he tended to the stove. Louis graciously accepted it with a soft peck to Harry’s cheek. He took a sip and left out a soft moan as the perfectly made warm beverage soothed him from the inside out, the smell of breakfast still filling his nose. He could get used to waking up like this.

“Stay forever.” Louis softly whined as he rested his head against Harry’s shoulder. “I hate cooking.”

The resulting chuckle made Louis’s head bounce on its perch. “Obviously. Man cannot live by cereal and nuggets alone.”

For the last few months, Harry had been spending most of his time here at Louis’ little house. It was gradual at first, swinging by for lunch or to watch a movie. Eventually he’d come by Friday for dinner and wouldn’t leave until sometime Saturday afternoon. By now, he had enough tidbits of his belongings here he just came after work on Friday and left Monday morning. 

It honestly felt a bit lonely in the house during the weekday on the days when Harry returned to his flat. Louis had asked Harry multiple times to just move in already but there was still a few months left in his lease on the flat, which didn’t allow subletting. And Harry was just being stubborn.

Even so, every weekend Harry brought with him a few more things that marked his place in Louis’ home. Half of Louis’ closet was now dedicated to Harry’s loud attire and a portion of his excessive Gucci shoe collection and a whole rainbow of nail polish lined the counter of the master bath. Fairy lights had found their way to the living room — which led to Alex begging for some of his own to be put up in his bedroom. Louis’ bookshelf finally had some books on it and his kitchen now had more than a single pot and frying pan to its name.

“Hey!” Louis took the outstretched plate before playfully smacking his new personal chef. “Sometimes I buy corndogs!”

Harry just scrunched his nose — one of Louis’ most favorite expressions Harry made, right next to his orgasm face — as he tossed a few slices of bacon on Louis’ plate and grabbed his own plate for the table.

Just as Louis was about to dig into his meal — after loading the golden cakes up with all sorts of cut fruit, syrup, and whipped topping — there was a knock at the door.

“What the hell? Who comes by this early on a Sunday?” Louis mumbled through a mouthful of bliss. Harry’s cooking really was amazing.

“I’ll get it. You keep eating. You’re a growing boy after all.” Harry winked as he slid his chair back.

“Oi, you!” Louis jabbed his fork at Harry’s bum as he passed, but missed. Harry threw his head back with a cackle that faded as he rounded the corner, out of the kitchen toward the front door.

After another bite, Louis looked across the table to his son, who was happily trailing his fork through the puddle of syrup on his plate, and at the frog who was perched near his elbow.

“Froggy needs to finish his breakfast if he wants to come to the park with us later.” He nodded at the animal in question, who hadn’t even touched his plate of food — the ungrateful beast. 

Louis looked down at his plate, pretending not to notice as Alex snuck the slice of bacon off the saucer that served as the toy’s dish, stuffing it into his mouth.

“Hey, Lou?” Came Harry’s voice from across the house. Louis rolled his eyes as he stuffed one more forkful of deliciousness in his mouth before heading to door. Why couldn’t Harry just handle this?

As he turned the corner of the kitchen, he found Harry half turned, a nervous look on his face as he glanced at the doorway, then to Louis.

“Someone’s um... there’s this... do you know her?” Harry’s eyes silently pleaded for help. Louis was about to ask what Harry was talking about as the person in question stepped out from behind Harry’s tall frame, glaring over her sunglasses.

“Why the hell are you here?” Louis snapped, narrowing his eyes as he tucked himself under Harry’s arm, wrapping his own arm possessively around Harry’s waist.

“I should ask you the same thing about this one.” She waved a manicured hand at Harry who tried to take a step back, but Louis held him firmly in place. After years of battling this woman, Louis knew her bark was worse than her bite.

With a sigh, Louis began the introductions. “Harry, this is my ex-girlfriend and Alex’s mum, Julie. Julie, this is Harry. My boyfriend.” He couldn’t help but smirk a bit at the last few words. “Now, I repeat the question, why the hell are you here?”

Julie’s eyes widened for a moment at the word ‘boyfriend’ but, for the first time in all the years Louis had known her, she kept quiet on it. Instead, she decided to take aim at another of Louis’ nerves. “For my son. What else?”

Louis sputtered a bit, could feel his anger rising. The nerve she had, showing up six months after abandoning the poor lad, with only maybe a handful of phone calls.

“I know I usually come after dinner, but after this long we can make an exception.”

Louis thought for a moment, as he stared ahead at the woman who was clearly getting impatient from waiting.

“Can you give us a minute, love?” He tipped up onto his toes to give a peck to Harry’s cheek. With a nod, Harry reluctantly left and returned to the kitchen. Once Harry was out of earshot, Louis turned back to his ex, who had crossed her arms as she tapped her foot.

He had a long time to consider what he would do, should she ever show back up. And after much deliberation (and input from Harry — as hesitant as the man was to give it, Louis really wanted it) he knew exactly how he would handle this.

“If you would check you email on occasion, Julianne,” Louis imitated the line Julie had served him months ago, “you would see that you missed a rather important court date a few weeks ago. I have full custody of Alex now because you couldn’t bother to show.”

Julie’s mouth dropped open, clearly not expecting this.

“However,” Louis continued as he stepped back, “you’re welcome to come in and join us for breakfast. Harry is quite the cook.”


	2. Chapter 2

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Friendly reminder that this is just a nifty little bonus! I couldn’t find a good way to include this because it’s Harry’s POV and it completely spoils the suspense of who Harry is.
> 
> But it’s really cute (at least, I think so) so I’m including it anyway!

Harry paused for a moment as he reached the gate to the next residence. He wasn’t sure he would ever get used to having a walking route delivering the post. Until just last week, he had spent his work days packing the trucks with post to be delivered or tossing bins of outgoing letters and packages onto large trucks to be taken to another office.

Patricia had been one of his favorite carriers at his small post office and Harry was heartbroken when he learned of her retirement. She had taken a liking to Harry as well, and had put in a good word for him to be the one to take over her route.

They had spent the previous week together, Harry learning the ropes of delivering the post. It was about as easy as a route could get — mostly straight streets, addresses all in a sensible order, no excessively long hikes down steep driveways, very few dogs. It was the kind of route that seasoned employees put in their due diligence on other, more complicated and tiresome, routes in hopes of snagging one like this at some point in their career. 

Harry was one of the newer people in terms of seniority, so he was honestly surprised he got the route — much to the dismay of his coworkers, many of whom had their sights set on it.

But Pattie was gone now, off on a well deserved holiday before settling in to her retired life, and Harry was on his own. It was his second day by himself, and he thought he was doing a decent job, relatively speaking. The older woman had taught him the ins and outs and the little secrets of post carrying to help him finish faster and get off on time.

He had been perfectly on schedule today, just as Pattie had taught him, until he stopped for lunch. When he resumed afterwards, he couldn’t remember exactly where he had left off, therefore spending precious minutes driving up and down a few streets before it dawned on him to check one of the letters sitting in his bag for the next address.

After finally figuring out where he needed to be, Harry had attempted to make up his lost time by walking just a wee bit faster between houses. Halfway down the street he found himself a bit winded, and after gently pushing the last bit of post through the slot in the door of a multi-flat, he paused to catch his breath. He was burning up in his new red windbreaker, and even though he wasn’t wearing a proper uniform shirt underneath, he began to unzip the jacket to let in a bit of cool air.

“Hi!”

Harry spun around in a panic at the sound of the voice, his heart beating out of his chest. But there was no one out in the quiet little neighborhood save for a few cars puttering by. He looked all over, up and down the street, but there was no one.

Maybe he was hearing things, the blood pounding in his ears a bit too hard from the power walking. Yeah, that had to be it. He chuckled to himself for being so silly, hearing voices, as he went about finishing unzipping the jacket.

“Hi!”

Harry jumped, as he heard something again. He definitely heard a voice this time, he was sure of it. But there was still no one around as he quickly scanned the porch and the lawn in front of him. Just a few birds chirping as they hopped around in a nearby bush.

Pattie said nothing about disembodied voices on this route.

He shook his head and decided to just get out of there. He was already behind and he didn’t need to be wasting time trying to figure this out — whatever this was going on here. As he leaned down to pick up his postal bag, he saw that the metal flap of the mail slot was still swinging. Even curiouser, was the fact that the letters he had just delivered were now laying on this side of the door.

Harry was certain he had put them in the slot.

But perhaps a few didn’t make it inside and he hadn’t noticed in his winded state.

Carefully, he picked up the letters and slid them back inside. He went as far as to still the metal flap as it swung. Satisfied with his work, he stood up and adjusted the bag across his person. He was about to walk away when he heard a soft flap of pages, and looked down to find a fashion magazine on the porch at his feet.

Not only was he absolutely — without a doubt — certain that there was no magazine there only seconds ago, he distinctly remembered delivering that particular magazine in yesterday’s post, not today. He only remembered because he, too, subscribed to that particular one and wondered if his would be waiting for him when he got home (it wasn’t).

Once again Harry leaned over and returned the magazine back inside. But this time, before he even had a chance to stand back up, letters were being pushed out of the slot and landing outside.

“What in the world...?” Harry muttered to himself with a furrowed brow. He knelt down as he picked up the pieces once more, wondering what in the world was going on. He was about to slide the letters in, again, when the flap suddenly flung outward, held open by a small hand.

“Hi!”

Harry let out an undignified squeak as he fell backward, tossing the letters up into the air. There was a soft giggle as the hand disappeared, allowing the flap to swing freely. Harry joined in after a moment, laughing as he realized it was only a kid on the other side of the door the whole time. 

“You gotta keep these inside, okay?” He gently spoke to the child as he slid the pieces back in, hopefully for the last time. “Mummy or Daddy might be waiting for them, they could be important.”

“Oh. Sorry.” Came the muffled voice. After a moment, the small hand appeared again to hold the flap up. “Mommy’s always busy. I’m Alex. Who are you?”

Harry smiled fondly at the boy, of which Harry could only see a pair of bright blue eyes through the small opening. He was getting further behind on his work with each passing minute, but he had such a soft spot for children that he didn’t mind spending another minute or two here. Even as young as he was, Harry knew he wanted a house full of kids someday — all he needed was to find the right man to settle down with and raise a few babies.

“I’m your new postman. I’m Harry.”

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Anybody else have the desire to watch some Postman Pat now? No? Just me?


End file.
